I am still not very comfortable or very familiar with doing that
much FEELING
so I run back to my original choice of my “COMFORT ZONE” “X” which
produces more thinking and less feeling - fine!.
Based on my childhood experience this makes sense and certainly the
safest and most secure for me. (Although it may not be the most productive
and problematic for a therapist -They said!)
The problem, however, is that my childhood decisions do not
always work
well now that I am a grown-up. I am not defending myself against my family
anymore -- except perhaps in my head or when I make other people into
family by experiencing them like :
“You are judgmental just like my Mom”
“You are explosive, just like my Dad”
“You are mean-spirited just like my Sister”
“You are cruel just like my Brother”
(everywhere I go I find me, and my mom, and my dad, and my . . .)
So I have an “X” where I find a personal balance point about how
much
THINKING does run my life and how much FEELING
does run my life, on the
average, for the last year or two. (Same old “X”) |
