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THE STORIES
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BELOW IS A STORY ABOUT A FAMILY WITH 2 LEVELS
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THE SOCIAL LEVEL
THAT IS VISIBLE TO OTHER PEOPLE
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AND
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THE PROCESS LEVEL
THAT IS HIDDEN FROM OTHER PEOPLE
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The misery comes from the reality that :
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SECRETS = SUFFERING IN SILENCE
DRAMA TRIANGLE SIMULATION
SOCIAL LEVEL DATA - (the social story)
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FAMILY - PART 1
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Father - John - Age 36
Child - Terry - Age 17
Mother - Mary - Age 33
Child - Billy - Age 15

DAD - John has worked at an automotive parts house for 12 years and has been promoted to manager. He is having some trouble with the responsibility of supervising the other employees and managing the parts house. He has been drinking a six-pak or two for years most nights after work. He is supercritical of people's performance at work and drives himself to higher and higher production goals. As a result he is more irritable at home and has begun hitting his wife, again, when he is drunk.

MOM - Mary works part-time as a waitress. The money she earns goes toward getting extra things for the children--such as new clothes for school and presents for holidays and special occasions. She suffers from migraines and sometimes has to call in sick. She married John because he was strong and protective but John has little patience with her migraines because he has never missed a day of work in his life and Mary tends to "complain about small stuff a lot anyway". When John took Mary to the hospital--for the birth of their first born Terry--John had been drinking and had an accident. The accident resulted in the near death of Mary and the child.

CHILD - Terry--now in high school--is getting low grades and is a discipline problem. Terry has begun using drugs more and more and has moved into using harder drugs and has begun to mix alcohol with the drug usage. Terry has been promised a job by a friend's father at twice minimum wage, working at typesetting in a print shop. Even though Terry likes math and history, Terry desperately wants to quit school, get married, and go to work. Although he knows Terry has been involved 3 times with the police for juvenile scrapes, the owner of the print shop has faith in Terry.

CHILD - Billy may be described as a "model child". Never a problem at home or at school. Billy gets good grades and takes part in extra activities at school. Billy likes arts, crafts and drama and spends a lot of time at home quietly doing projects in the bedroom. Billy even has a small chemistry lab and likes to do special projects for extra credit at school.

THE PROBLEM - Push has finally come to shove--Terry has been picked up for selling cocaine at school. Terry's probation officer has come by the house with Terry in tow and is talking to mother when father comes home. Dad has had to fire an employee today for pilfering auto parts. Dad had to answer to the regional office manager who chewed him out for not keeping track of inventory better. Dad has stopped off for a couple of "quick ones" to dull the pain.



DRAMA TRIANGLE SIMULATION
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PROCESS LEVEL DATA - (the secret story)
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FAMILY - PART 2
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Father - John - Age 36
Child - Terry - Age 17 FEMALE
Mother - Mary - Age 33
Child - Billy - Age 15 MALE

DAD - John was beaten by his alcoholic father on a regular basis. John had a big fight with his father at 14, left home and finished high school living at a friend's home. When John got his first job he proudly told his dad. His fathers only comment was "You have more on the ball than that". Two days before the birth of their first child John had visited his father in an attempt to build a new tie with the coming birth of a grandchild. John's father was drunk and struck John and told him he was not interested in any grandchildren that he would have and besides he had married a "damaged" woman who was beneath him.

MOM - Mary , the oldest, had to care for her brothers and sisters when her father died and her mother went to work as a waitress. After mother remarried, Mary continued to be responsible for the other children, with mother's encouragement, allowing mother to have more time with her new husband. Mary was molested by her stepfather and an uncle between 7 and 12 years of age. She married to get away from home but is still fearful of men--even though she married John because he is big, strong, and protective. John has now turned out to be mean, critical and possessive. She wants to go to junior college to study secretarial courses to better herself, but she keeps spending the money on the children to "give them what I never had". Being a waitress is OK because she is "in charge" and likes serving people, but going to school and being a student is fearful for her. Although her husband has beaten her on several occasions she feels that he is basically a good man and that sometimes she goads him into it.

CHILD - Terry, angry depressed, laid awake nights listening to dad's drunken ravings, angry fights with mom which included some violence. When Terry came to the aid of mom, dad would turn on Terry--then things got worse. Terry feels hopeless to change things. Terry was born with a mild form of dyslexia and part of the school problem is traceable to this problem of seeing letters inverted and/or backwards. Only recently diagnosed, it has been an unknown source of frustration for Terry. Terry was frequently told by father that "You're dumb, stupid and no damn good, and never will be".

CHILD - Billy is suicidal, and, unlike Terry, Billy decided to "keep the nose to the grindstone" and ignore the family hassles. As the years rolled by Billy became better and better at hiding feelings. Billy now has two lives--a social facade of success, accomplishment, and sociability--and a private life internally which is preoccupied with thoughts of suicide. At 15 Billy is having great trouble dealing with the demands of growing sexuality, and the social demands of getting along with peers but not having a decent model of how to deal with feelings. With nobody to confide in at home, Billy is feeling "wound up like a spring". Billy has been recently experimenting with different chemicals of lethal capability, secretly experimenting on the neighborhood cats and dogs.

– END EXAMPLES –

– EXERCISE BELOW –

Write down a few brief reactions to these questions.

SOCIAL LEVEL - (the social story)
1. What emotions did I feel in general about reading the social level information?
2. Did I have any preconceived reactions to the social information?
3. Did I have any prejudice one way or another about the social information?
4. Did I have more sympathy for one person over another?
5. Did I fix blame and/or take sides about the issues?

PROCESS LEVEL - (the secret story)
1. What emotions did I feel in general about reading the process level information?
2. Did I have any preconceived reactions to the process information?
3. Did I have any prejudice one way or another about the process information?
4. Did I have more sympathy for one person over another?
5. Did I fix blame and/or take sides about the issues?

NOW - AFTER THINKING ABOUT BOTH THE SOCIAL AND PROCESS LEVEL INFORMATION
1. Did it make a difference in your understanding after reading both parts?
2. If it made a difference, will that effect your thinking and reaction to others now?
3. Do you know people in you personal and professional life that you now will see differently?

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