TRANSACTIONS - PARENT TO PARENT
These have to with value sharing, value clarification, value
conflicts, and value generation. These are the “shoulds”,
“shouldnots”, “musts”, and “must nots” of a persons values.
Parent-Parent talks about values may be a pleasant and
cooperative or may be unpleasant and very competitive in
discussion or argument.
Life values are normally very closely held. Values contribute a
great deal to a persons identity. Values determine significant
issues about how they will defend themselves.
Questioning a persons values is often experienced as an attack
on the person themselves. Some experience the questioning of
their values as though their entire identity is being diminished.
(Often a low self-esteem problem)
Questioning authority--well--is a skill and an acquired taste.
Questioning authority is different from fighting or rebelling
against authority. One useful Parent value is “If I cannot have my
authority questioned, I need to look to see if my authority is
arbitrary and capricious or stable and well-founded.” |
